Top 10 Things I Would Make Invisible

Scientists are working on making stuff invisible. I don’t quite understand how that’s even possible, but okay.  Here’s my list of things that I would make invisible, if I someday can:

  1. Trailer parks. A nice big fence that could hide those eyesores — that’d be awesome.
  2. My house. How awesome would that be, to watch somebody walk up to a spot, open an invisible door, and catch a glimpse of their home’s interior before they disappeared? Answer: 7 (on the awesome-scale).
  3. Billboards telling me to donate my car to the Kidney Foundation or whatever it is. They make me feel guilty.
  4. Victoria’s Secret storefronts. I don’t need to be reminded that lingerie models are attractive. But thanks for looking out for me.
  5. Paris Hilton.
  6. My love handles. Well, all my fat, actually. Unless it being invisible meant you could see right through my skin to my organs — that’d be worse than the chub, I think. (…I think. Maybe my interior organs are sexy. NOBODY KNOWS!)
  7. Dog poop. Not because I don’t want to see it, so much as I think it’s funny when other people step in it unawares.
  8. Skate parks. That way, the skaters all look like they’re hovering.
  9. Any man more handsome than me.
  10. Air in Los Angeles.

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