Scientists are working on making stuff invisible. I don’t quite understand how that’s even possible, but okay. Here’s my list of things that I would make invisible, if I someday can:
- Trailer parks. A nice big fence that could hide those eyesores — that’d be awesome.
- My house. How awesome would that be, to watch somebody walk up to a spot, open an invisible door, and catch a glimpse of their home’s interior before they disappeared? Answer: 7 (on the awesome-scale).
- Billboards telling me to donate my car to the Kidney Foundation or whatever it is. They make me feel guilty.
- Victoria’s Secret storefronts. I don’t need to be reminded that lingerie models are attractive. But thanks for looking out for me.
- Paris Hilton.
- My love handles. Well, all my fat, actually. Unless it being invisible meant you could see right through my skin to my organs — that’d be worse than the chub, I think. (…I think. Maybe my interior organs are sexy. NOBODY KNOWS!)
- Dog poop. Not because I don’t want to see it, so much as I think it’s funny when other people step in it unawares.
- Skate parks. That way, the skaters all look like they’re hovering.
- Any man more handsome than me.
- Air in Los Angeles.