Brian Regan Worship

Rebecca and I saw Brian Regan tonight at Thanksgiving Point in Lehi.  That man is the funniest man alive.

…I think. I could be wrong. But he just slays me.

Tonight’s show was great — almost all new material to us — and there were some amazing improvised bits, too. As the night came on, bugs started swarming the stage because of the lights, and it was a bit distracting. A large bit. He commented at one point, “Is there any way we can get some more bugs up here? Can we release the second group now?”  Pretty funny.

Funnier, though, was during the encore, when he was giving us his bit about the Pop-Tarts (an audience request).  He froze for a second, and said, “Sorry, not sure if I said that part already, because about two sentences back a bug flew up my nose.”

Roars. I’ll paraphrase the rest. “All my faculties were suddenly focused on this. A little part of my brain said ‘Hey, bug flew up your nose.’ And I said, ‘I know, but I can’t think about that right now.’ And my brain said, ‘You can’t think about a bug that flew up your nose?’ And I said, ‘No, I’m on stage in front of a bunch of people right now.’ And my brain said, ‘Okaaaaay….’

He touched on the bug’s point of view, then resumed the Pop-Tarts bit.

“This’ll be the first time I’ve done this bit with another living creature inside my body….

“So, there’s actually two sets of instructions on a box of Pop-Tarts…. Isn’t that right, little buggy?”

The way he said it makes me laugh even as I’m typing this. Oh man, I think I’m crying. That was about the most beautiful improvised line I’ve ever heard. The way he said it, expressing this kinship — nay, LOVE — for the bug that was even now INSIDE HIS NOSE… oh man, I’m in tears trying to express this.

He’s my hero.


My 4-year old beat me boxing on the Wii today.  I was legitimately trying, too, and somehow she just managed to smack me down.

I kicked her BUTT at bowling, though.

Keeping My Day Job

Well, hopefully that’s not too painful to watch. It hurts ME to watch it, but I’m hoping I’m my own worst critic.

It’s 3 minutes of new material. I have to point out that the audience was suffering at the hands of a cruelly dull emcee, so I was starting with a pretty cold group.  You know, in my defense.

Also in my defense: I forgot my squeaky clown nose. MAN that would have made it funnier.

Let me also add that I’m not nearly that gay-looking in real life.  I am, however, that fat and bald.

Stand-up Comedy

I’m leaving in 20 minutes to go do 3 minutes of open mic at WiseGuys in Salt Lake.  It’s been at least 5 years since my last attempt at stand-up, and dear hell it still haunts me. So I’m a little nervous.

But I’m kind of excited, too. I really like the material I’ve got, and this time it won’t be for a crowd of overaged bridal shower attendees.