Food stuck beside my tongue

In case I don’t make it through this, I wanted to let everyone know why I took my own life with a spoon.

I have a bacon bit stuck back behind/beside my tongue somewhere. It’s driving me crazy. I poked and prodded and flashlighted and Q-tipped and it’s still there.

And it’s a real bacon bit, not soy, so it’s more likely to just hang around and not digest quickly.

I’m considering gargling battery acid.