Windows Doesn’t Love Me Anymore

I have evidence that Windows is preemptively leaving me — preemptively because I’ve been spending a lot of time looking at Macintoshes.

1) Windows Update has been stuck at 3% for more than a week now. If I try to run the updates through a browser, it also gets stuck.
2) IE crashed on me when I was browsing Apple’s homepage.
3) IE 7 crashed on me to the point I had to uninstall it and go back to IE 6.
4) Windows has been spending a lot of time on the phone with her mother.

Don’t push me, Windows. You keep this up and you’ll push me right into the loving arms of a Macintosh, you understand? We can still make this work, you and I, despite my misgiving and indiscretions, but only if you’re willing to work WITH me.