Missing Utah

Do people who blog articulately spend a lot of time composing their thoughts, or do they ramble and edit as they go? Me, I ramble and edit. But then, I haven’t been accused of any degree of articulation. Enough of this! To our subject: getting my family back to Utah!

I dislike Los Angeles. It’s taken some time for that to crystalize in my brain. (“I’m sorry. You’ve tested positive for brain crystals.”) But I believe LA may well be the most over-rated…

Wait. have I ranted this before? Traffic, overpriced housing, dearth of seasons, etc? Well, if I hadn’t before, I just summarized it nicely.

I want to get back to Utah. I want to be closer to my family, where my daughter can play with any number of cousins, and where we could afford to own a home.

I’ve applied to, I believe, 4 different jobs in the Utah and Salt Lake counties since last night, all of which I’m a pretty good match for. I’d love nothing more than to fly up there and cut a swath of interviews.

I also asked my manager what the chances are of being allowed to telecommute from another state. We already have two full-time telecommuters, though they’re both in LA, a third that is part-time in another state, and our website’s primary programming is outsourced to a team in LA. So it’s not without precedent.

We’re paying $1420 a month in rent. That’s a Utah house payment EASY. With the savings, I could afford to fly to LA once a month on my own dime for any face-to-face meetings.

Do I care that it would essentially eliminate any chance of me moving up the ladder at LTB? No. It does not. That particular ladder doesn’t go where I want to go. And as you get closer to the top, it’s clearly marked “THIS IS NOT A STEP.”

But keeping my current job and telecommuting… I dunno. Part of me wants to finish this current project I’m on, then wash my hands of the whole company and move on. They’ve gone a different route than what I suggested in terms of software development and hardware upgrades, and I don’t want to be here when the storm hits. Well, the storm actually hit TODAY, and I mostly washed my hands in its abundant rain, but I think more storms are surely in store.

I feel like Dr. Malcolm in Jurassic Park — I can’t say exactly WHY the route we chose will bring doom on us all, but the theory holds true. Today we saw the first glimpses of it during a two-hour email outage. Tomorrow: bloody limbs smacking the window.

(For the curious: I said upgrade the software first, THEN upgrade to the new server hardware. I said to get off of the Windows environment and onto LAMP (Linux-Apache-MySQL-PHP). They chose differently. So, despite hours of testing last night, our SMTP server failed us today when the load got too heavy. And because the software hasn’t been reconstructed to an object-oriented model, we couldn’t just flip back to a previous build — we would’ve needed to go back and change dozens of scripts like we did when we changed it last night.)


I have a dream…

I dream of having sufficient wealth that I can put together an expedition of spammer-hunters. We would trace IP addresses, money trails, anything we could, until we found the bastards that are selling Cialis and Viagra — they go first — then the fake Rolex people.

We would find them, and break their legs with baseball bats. Or maybe their knees. I dunno. Maybe we would get lucky and find out that they’re also murderers, and we wouldn’t feel so bad just killing them outright. Or maybe we would cut off their hands! Yes! Leave them alive, but with injuries that would never heal.

I’m a little wary about the kind of folks who would go along on such a venture. I don’t trust crazy people. But it’s hard to find the right people for any position, so I guess you take what you can get.

In other news, I’m on a new medication! It’s supposed to act as a mood stabilizer. I think “anger” might be one of the side effects.

I also almost quit my job today when I heard some disparaging news — but I decided just to go home early.

So, November of 2004, I had an incident with the police when a scam artist swindled somebody out of a $20k watch, and used my address in the process.

Now, December of 2005, my incident involves trying to help detectives who are investigating a guy who raped a girl he met on my website, Singlesaints.com.

I pieced together all the info I had on the guy, and I hope it helps them pin him to the wall.

I subject you to a subject where “subject” is both a verb and an indirect object, but not the subjec

Ran out of room for my subject up there. Oh well.

  • Intel: I think it’s a misnomer to call our information on Iraq’s Weapons of Mass Destruction “intel”. I mean, since we were wrong and all. I think a better name would be “stupi” or “ignor” or somesuch. Hmm. I have lots of words for ‘dumb’, but few for ‘wrong’.
  • People who think Bush tricked us: Seems that the folks who think Bush lied to get us into the war in Iraq are the same folks who think Bush is an idiot. Shouldn’t they be embarrassed by that fact? I mean, if he’s so dumb, how’d he manage to pull the wool over YOUR eyes? (I think he’s dumb, too, but I’m not sure he lied.)
  • iTunes vs Napster: Well, Rebecca got me an MP3 player/recorder for my birthday, and iTunes doesn’t have a voice recorder out, so the only option was iriver, a nifty device that refuses to play iTunes formats. Grr. I had to burn a CD, then rip it in Windows Media Player, before I could get the songs I purchased onto my portable device.
  • Vegas tomorrow: Man, I hope it goes well. I was looking at our company numbers today, and I don’t see how we can possibly pull off our goal this year. Well, I can see it, but it’ll be butt close. If we DO reach it, we’re all going to Hawaii next year. Unless our wives are pregnant, in which case I hope they have some other sort of gift in store for us.

It was mania.

Or IS mania. I’m definitely feeling out of sorts, either as part of the mood-swing backlash that a manic episode brings, or as part of the manic episode itself getting into a different gear.

I feel rage for no reason at all. I’m looking for problems, LOOKING for reasons to be angry. It’s ridiculous. I only barely stayed a full 8 hours at work today, and I just feel like grinding my teeth down to nubs.

Not sure if that’s physically possible, but anyway, that’s how I feel.

I think I’ll take a nap. Except that it’s quarter to six in the evening… that almost certainly means I’ll be awake until all hours tonight.